An answered prayer

I did not expect it. I had been doing so well with the sad news. But, as the video of my friend played in church I lost it. I could not control myself. Tears poured down my face and I wept openly into my hands. This was no small breakdown. After church people from all over the congregation were asking me if I was okay.

Our church created a video about my sweet friend Danielle and her husband, Aaron. In it, they talked about the importance of a small group. They shared openly about their financial and marital hardships in the past 2 years. None of that was a surprise to me on Sunday....I was in their small group....I had walked that road with them. Then Aaron announced that he had taken a job in Nebraska and that they would be moving next month. Also, not a surprise to me. I knew about this job from the moment it was a possibility through the moment they accepted it. Yet...I still broke down. I bawled like a baby. I guess it was the first time it really hit me that my friend is leaving.

All my life I have felt like an outsider. I have never been in the "in crowd" and I have never had a ton of friends. And the friends did have I felt like I needed them way more than they needed me. I prayed and prayed that God would change that for me. I needed a buddy....I would have been satisfied with just one. And....like I knew he would....God answered me. In college he sent me Katie. She became my roommate after a strange set of circumstances (that's a whole other story). For 3 years we were pretty much inseparable and she is still my best friend to this day.

But, we graduated and got married. Life took us far apart. Here I was with no friend in my city. Years went by. I had friends....but I was praying for that one friend. That one who just gets you....who you can really show your heart to. (and that can be hard for a pastor's wife to find). Then....God sent Danielle.

Danielle has been such a gift to me. She is an answered prayer. She has been that friend who has seen the nasty parts of me and has still loved me. She is that friend who will let me walk in the muck of her life with her too. We talk almost daily. We pray together so often. We laugh, cry, joke, tease, minister, sing, and play with the kids together.

And now she is leaving...

I am heartbroken.

I know this is right for them. I am so happy that Aaron has found a way out of the crummy jobs he has had to have for so long now. I am glad that they will regain some financial security. I am thankful that they have sought the Lord and that they are obeying his voice. But, I will miss my friend. I will probably still talk to her almost daily (I'll need to call her every time I go into a Target for sure....the closest one to her will be hours away!) and I will pray for her without ceasing. But I will miss hugging her neck. I will miss catching her eye as we talk about something pertinent at small group. (man, it's starting to sound like I have a crush on her, isn't it....okay, I'll stop)

Sweet friend, I am praying that God will bless you as you go. I will miss you terribly. I am honored to call you friend....and will forever be grateful to have you in my life!