Celebration of Success

Kaleb's school had an evening of fun and celebration to end the school year. I wasn't able to attend, but the kiddos were in good hands with their daddy and grandad. It looks like they had a blast playing games and eating snacks. Kaleb also got to show off all his work. We could not be more proud of our little man.

on the road again

Seven hours is a long time to spend in the car. And it seems even longer when you consider you are traveling with a 6, 5, and 2 year old. And it's even longer when you think that just 2 days earlier we traveled that same amount of time. We were getting a bit stir crazy....so we stopped at a rest stop on the highway and blew off some steam.

We made silly poses (I have no idea what he's doing, but it's cute!)
We dug around for bugs....quite successfully I might add.

And we continued being our cute....adorable....wonderful....sweet...(you get the picture) selves.

First comes love, second comes....

Jackson and Aubri Jane....two little lovebirds. It is so cute to watch these two....they really do love one another.

When Aubri returned to her class the evening of the program her friend Audrey was NOT happy. jackson was no longer playing with her....he was only interested in his buddy Aubri.
The way they giggle and laugh together is so precious. They kept playing hide-and-seek while we were there....only they only had one hiding spot....behind the chair. They just took turns hiding in the same place and then "finding" each other.

Lindsey told me the cutest story the other day. She said that Jackson was asking about where Aubri was....he started running around the room yelling that he was Secret Agent Oso (a disney show) and he was going to rescue Aubri Jane. How sweet is that!?

Almost every day....even after being gone from Memphis for over a month....Aubri talks to Jackson on her pretend princess phone. It's so cute!

And maybe....just maybe....you'll see these photos again. Only it will be about 20some years from now in their wedding slide show!

don't blink, or you'll miss it...

Monday, May 10th I had the honor and privilege to lead the children of Kids' Day Out in their Spring Program. It was not only the 8th program I have helped them put on, it was also the last program this group would put on. Kids' Day Out has officially closed its' doors. It was a bittersweet night....and I am SO glad I was able to go back to Memphis to be a part of it. And, I was thrilled that Aubri and Nathan got to participate with all their friends. It was an amazing night.

Time flies so quickly these days. My time at KDO was amazing....and way too brief. The ladies I met there invested in me and my children. The impact they have made on my family is irreplaceable and eternal in nature. This program literally changed my life....it gave me an income, a sense of purpose, a way to invest in the next generation of believers, a creative outlet, and life-long friends. God worked mightily in KDO and I pray that He would continue to work in the teachers, kids, and families lives who were a part of it.

Mother's Day 2010

This Mother's Day was different than all the others I have had. Normally I am showered with cards and gifts, we go to church together, and then we have a nice lunch and some other festivities that involve me doing minimal planning and disciplining. The beginning of the day started out as usual....tons of handmade cards (I love that my boys are learning how to write and spell and can really tell me what's in their hearts) and a gift I have had my eye on (the board game Sequence....my grandma taught me this game a few weeks back and I really liked it). After that, though, my mother's day was anything but typical. I had to bolt out of bed and get myself and all three kids ready on my own. Now that Rayden is a senior pastor he normally leaves for church at about 7:30....ugh! We ate frozen waffles.....yum....got dressed and sped out the door. My man preached a wonderful message and then we darted to the house and packed our clothes and headed out for Memphis. My lovely Mother's Day lunch was replaced with a quick burger at Wendy's. Then, momma got lots of "quality time" with the family in the car....7 hours worth to be exact. My view on Mother's Day... Kaleb rarely looked up from his DSi.

Nathan was zoned in on the DVD player.....thank goodness for redbox.

And Aubri.... well, she had a rough day. First she clipped her lip into her barrette.

Then she happily ate her ice cream....and she generously shared it with her outfit!

It may not have been a typical Mother's Day, but it was great. Number one....I spent the day with my 4 favorite people on earth. And Number two....we ended the day with some of the best friends anyone could ask for (the Whaleys).

I have been a mom now for 6 years and I can honestly say that I do not feel any better at it than the day I started. But, with each day that passes I feel more and more blessed. And here's why...

what a mighty good man

Remember that group "TLC." I used to love them....but there words were a bit racy for a young innocent girl like me so I never listened to them until I was in college. They have a song about a guy....actually, they probably have lots of songs about one guy or another, but the song I am referring to is "what a man".

Do you know that one? Well, let me hum a few bars for you....

"What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man."

Sheer lyrical genius, right? Well, it may not be eloquently stated, but these words most certainly describe the fellow that God sent into my life for me to journey with.

Let me just say it for the record....Rayden Hollis is the most amazing man I have ever met. There you have it. I know lots of women think they have the greatest husband around, but I am going to have to burst their bubble right here and now. They simply cannot have the greatest husband because I do.

Not only does he help me with housework (even without me asking....that's right ladies....he takes housecleaning initiative!). He also does more than his share with the kids....playing, bathing, dressing, disciplining, etc. He also tells me DAILY how he loves me, thinks I am gorgeous, and compliments my skills. All this while leading a church. So, I am always impressed and grateful with the man that he is, but two nights ago he took my breath away.

Wednesday night was a rough one for me....to say the least. I had a meltdown of epic proportions. (sure does seem like I am melting down a lot these days....hopefully this season will pass quickly) Let me give you a brief rundown:

I was laying on the couch watching tv when Rayden got back from locking up the church. I'm not sure exactly how it came up, but before I knew it I was sobbing hysterically and Rayden was rubbing my back and whispering, "I'm so sorry.....I'm just so sorry you have to go through this and feel these things."

Poor guy. He's been doing lots of counseling in his new position as senior pastor....and most of it is with his own wife!

In between sobs I was able to relay my laundry list of sorrows to my hubby. Not that he could understand me....I seriously was a blubbering mess of tear, boohoos, snot, and mascara. It wasn't pretty at all.

-I told him how I am still just so sad when I think about my mom. It just hurts my heart so badly that I have "lost" her. And even though we butted heads so much when she was well, I miss her terribly and would give almost anything to make her well again.
-I told him about the loneliness I m struggling with. Don't get me wrong, the people in our church have been so warm and welcoming, but it takes time to forge real and deep friendships. I am missing my people. Oh how I am treasuring Lindsey, Karen, Danielle, and Katie. I am praying that God will send me some kindred spirits her in Bolivar.
-I spilled my guts about how I wished I was closer to my brothers. There is truly no way to describe how proud of my brothers I am....how much I love them....how much I enjoy being around them. I'm sure it didn't help that I had just finished watching a DVRed episode of "Brothers and Sisters" where they all live in the same town and see each other almost daily. I've decided that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. When you grow up you end up moving away from the very people who helped you live life the first 7000 days you are on this earth. What a rip off!
-I revealed my fear that I am not succeeding as a mother. I know every mom thinks this from time to time. Makes sense to just heap this quilt on top of all the other woes I feel right now.
- I boohooed about the boxes that are still all over our house. I shared how my motivation to get them unpacked is lessening by the nanosecond.
-I cried about how crummy I feel physically. I know it's not great timing, but I decided to wean myself off of my anxiety medication to see how I do without it. As I type this I am sort of realizing what a bad decision that might be for me right here in this moment. Oh well, I'm too far in to back out now. But, coming off of Lexipro makes you feel really dizzy and forgetful. You feel kinda achy and flu-like. It really makes my heart go out to drug addicts who are trying to get clean. This is a much harder process than I anticipated.
-And finally, I wept over my newest hurt. I hesitate to even write about it, because it involves one of my most faithful readers and lots of people who know him. But, it's my blog....it's about my hurts, feelings, and journey. This is a very real part of my journey and it's not as if I can be honest about who I am and how I am trying to bring honor to God in everything without sharing this part of my story. My new wound involves my dad. I love him with all my heart. He means the world to me. He's my daddy....no matter what....not one choice he or I make will change that. But, I learned earlier this week that he plans to move in with his girlfriend (the woman he cheated on my mom and us with). I'm not sure how to handle this. Hence, the sobbing on the couch. I'll leave it at that....there are many more details than that, but they aren't necessary.

So, I basically spewed all this out in a matter of about 45 seconds as I snotted all over my sweet and unassuming husband. He teared up too as he tried his best to bring comfort and point me to the Lord. He rubbed my back, got me a kleenex, offered sweet words of encouragement, and prayed over me. And not once did he mention how hideous I must have looked with streaks of mascara going down my face, puffy and red eyes, and dried snot swiped across my cheeks. I told you....he's a mighty good man!

And on top of all of that....the next morning he let me sleep in until 10:00. He got the kids breakfast, took Kaleb to school, did 2 loads of laundry, and unloaded over 5 of our leftover boxes. He hung pictures that needing hanging, took the trash to the dumpster, and did it all with a smile on his face.

So, you see what I'm saying? I think you'd agree that when casting your ballot for greatest man alive you'd have to mark the box next to "Rayden Hollis."

And on top of all of that....he's famous. He was in the Bolivar paper this Wednesday.

sucker punch

This morning I was perusing facebook....minding my own business when I happened upon a quote that stung a little bit. A former student of ours, Matt Swaringim, posted this as his status...

"Lack of motivation is caused by the lack of hope"

I guess the reason this stings so badly is because there are still unpacked boxes all over our house and garage. When we first moved in I was pumped about unpacking and organizing....it seemed thrilling to me. Unfortunately that feeling only stayed with me for about a week. Now...a whole month later....I am battling to complete the process. So, reading this statement makes me question the why behind my seeming inability to finish this project. Perhaps it is, in fact, lack of hope.

I am pretty overwhelmed at the moment. There are bills to be paid....both mine and my moms. And we are working from 2 checking accounts....one in Memphis and one in bolivar. And I have already mentioned the boxes that still need unpacking. In addition, i am trying to meet people and develop real and meaningful friendships. I wish the process of becoming intimate friends didn't take so stinkin' long!

I wonder if I have lost a little hope during this transition time. Before you move you build things up in your mind so big in order to stomach the pain of leaving a place you love that there is no possible way that your expectations can be met. When you expect more than you get, you lose some hope.

Please don't mishear me. I am NOT hopeless. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness (insert organ music here). But, I do think that I may just be a little bit down. Perhaps it is because it is taking longer for Bolivar to feel like home than I expected. Perhaps it is because I am currently going through some withdrawal symptoms since stopping some medication I was on. Or perhaps, this is merely a season of life hat I am passing through.

Whatever the case, I am certain of these things...
-my God will be the same after this is over as He was before it began.
-I will make it through this...His grace is sufficient to carry me through any circumstance.
-I WILL finish unpacking our boxes...even if I do it kicking and screaming....I WILL do it.

in my mailbox....

I love the feeling of a full mailbox. Wait....let me rephrase that. I love when my mailbox is full of things other than bills. I love getting magazines that I can peruse through at leisure. I love getting letters and cards from friends. And I love getting FREE stuff. I sign up for just about every free sample there is. www.hip2save.com informs you of all kinds of samples you can get. I can not tell you how profitable this has been for me. I often even sign up for things I don't use....I may decide to try a new product or I may decide to gift it to a friend or donate it to charity.

Today was an especially great mail day. A while ago I signed up for a box of free samples from the post office. It was a new promotion they were offering. In the box was:

-a Dove candy bar
-3 packets of splenda and a coupon for splenda
- a trial size secret clinical strength
- trial size Aveeno hand cream
- a trial size Aveeno firming night cream
-trial size Aveeno shampoo and conditioner
-coupons for Aveeno worth $3
-full size Grill Mates steak seasoning
-one bengay heat wrap
-2 tasters choice flavored instant coffees
-2 shower to shower body wash samples

Can you believe it? I was so excited!