It's been a rough one...

It's been a rough week. This week we said goodbye to our PeePaw. It's actually Rayden's maternal grandfather, but I love him enough to say he was my PeePaw too. His health has been rapidly deteriorating and this last week we were sure the days were coming to an end.

He was such a great man. A pastor for more years than I have been alive, he has grown God's Kingdom in more ways that I can count. He was a faithful husband....this November he would have been married to his bride for 62 years! He was a WONDERFUL grandfather. Rayden has countless stories of all the fun he and his cousins and brother had staying with Peepaw at the lake. He will be greatly missed.

I think the thing that is so hard about it was seeing him so helpless this last week. He was such a strong and vibrant man...you knew when Peepaw has arrived! And in his last days he laid in his room in a hospital bed unable to move, open his eyes, or talk. When I saw him in the bed for the first time 2 days ago my heart leaped up into my throat. He looked so small. I swear he had shrunk down to half his size. And there were no jokes about how beautiful he thought I was...no big kiss on the mouth. Nothing. I don't even know if he knew we were there. But, we kissed him, praised him for a life well lived, and said goodbye. Actually, I told him to give my Jesus a big kiss on the mouth for me. I don't know if that is sac religious, but I know if Peepaw could he would've let out a big belly laugh and then agreed to my request.

I know I will never forget Peepaw. And not just cause I love him. I will see pieces of him in my husband everyday. I think that's why I feel so connected to him. He and Rayden and so alike. They both ave the "it" factor. They attract people. They make people laugh. They have BIG personalities. They love to make other people feel like they are important. They are both pastors. They did/will do GREAT things in ministry. Peepaws legacy will live on...we will be sure of it.

Peepaw passed away this morning at 5:30 am. It was right after an electrical surge that sent sparks flying all over the street. Way to go "out with a bang". Peepaw wouldn't have it any other way!

And then later today...

I got a call from my mom's psychiatrist's office saying that they thought she was off her meds because she seemed to be having some delusions. They said that she is convinced that my dad is calling 911 on her and trying to have her committed. Well, that's just not true. These are, in fact, delusions. After Rayden gets home from work I will head over to her apartment and see if she is taking her medications.

I just don't know how to help her. She has NO health insurance and she thinks that nothing is wrong with her. How to do help someone like that? I am begging for God to intervene and heal her. I am pleading with God to change what feels lie a hopeless situation.

Months ago I promised the Lord that I would march into this cave my mom is in and take her by the hand and march her out of it. Well, easier said than done. She doesn't seem to want to leave. And in the meantime, I hate this cave. It is lonely, and dark, and my anxiety grows the longer I stay in here. But, I made a vow to the Lord. I will emerge from this cave WITH my mother's hand in mine. I do believe that. I am just asking the Lord to give me strength, hope, peace, comfort, and the ability to endure. Not to mention, I am asking that it be over soon and that the road might not be so difficult to navigate.

Would you join me in praying for these situations? We would sure appreciate it. We are learning more to trust God through prayer and we are seeing evidence that He is powerful and present in the lives of people who pray. May God get glory from everything in my life and yours!