Tuesday, May 4, 2010

sucker punch

This morning I was perusing facebook....minding my own business when I happened upon a quote that stung a little bit. A former student of ours, Matt Swaringim, posted this as his status...

"Lack of motivation is caused by the lack of hope"

I guess the reason this stings so badly is because there are still unpacked boxes all over our house and garage. When we first moved in I was pumped about unpacking and organizing....it seemed thrilling to me. Unfortunately that feeling only stayed with me for about a week. Now...a whole month later....I am battling to complete the process. So, reading this statement makes me question the why behind my seeming inability to finish this project. Perhaps it is, in fact, lack of hope.

I am pretty overwhelmed at the moment. There are bills to be paid....both mine and my moms. And we are working from 2 checking accounts....one in Memphis and one in bolivar. And I have already mentioned the boxes that still need unpacking. In addition, i am trying to meet people and develop real and meaningful friendships. I wish the process of becoming intimate friends didn't take so stinkin' long!

I wonder if I have lost a little hope during this transition time. Before you move you build things up in your mind so big in order to stomach the pain of leaving a place you love that there is no possible way that your expectations can be met. When you expect more than you get, you lose some hope.

Please don't mishear me. I am NOT hopeless. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness (insert organ music here). But, I do think that I may just be a little bit down. Perhaps it is because it is taking longer for Bolivar to feel like home than I expected. Perhaps it is because I am currently going through some withdrawal symptoms since stopping some medication I was on. Or perhaps, this is merely a season of life hat I am passing through.

Whatever the case, I am certain of these things...
-my God will be the same after this is over as He was before it began.
-I will make it through this...His grace is sufficient to carry me through any circumstance.
-I WILL finish unpacking our boxes...even if I do it kicking and screaming....I WILL do it.

1 comment:

neubiewaters said...

It is good to read this post...very encouraging. I wish I could come help you unpack, but I'd have to bring 3 kids with me and I'm not supposed to lift over 10 lbs still. Look forward to seeing you all.