the first, but not the last (I'm sure)

Tonight was a rough night in the Hollis house. First of all, it's Wednesday so Rayden doesn't come home from work until about 10 pm. So, I'm on my own with the kids after preschool. I played with them, fed them, bathed them, and put them to bed. Only tonight, one of them went to bed at 6:45.

Kaleb. That sweet, energetic child. He had a rough night. A night filled with poor choices all stemming from his mouth.

Dinnertime was fraught with lies. From how many chicken nuggets he has eaten (139 was his claim) to how many he had left on his plate (as if the rest of us don't know how to count correctly). It may not seem like a HUGE deal....I mean, they're just chicken nuggets after all. But, my eldest child has developed a bit of a problem with the truth. We are working hard to teach him that his lips should speak truth at all times....even if we are just talking about processed poultry.

Then it was bath time. The normal giggles I hear coming from the tub were there. Only the source of the laughter was my 5 year old son shouting potty words and dancing like a maniac. What is it with little boys obsessions with body parts and the things that come out of them. If I had a dime for every time I heard the words booger, poopy, penis, butt, and booty I would be able to retire. And retire well, I might add.

Finally, we are in our jammies and getting ready to put together some puzzles. Kaleb goes to the closet to retrieve his puzzle when his sister (how dare she....being a one year old and all) tries to close the door on him. He shouts out, "you ugly baby." Okay. That was the straw that broke the camel's back....well, actually it was the words that broke my patience. He. was. in. trouble.

I announced to the little two..."get in the living room and watch tv." The instructions to the eldest were quite different, "brush your teeth and get to bed."

Let's just say he was less than pleased. He screamed, flailed, moaned, and cried. He begged, dealed, pleaded, and apologized. But, the die had been cast. I explained to him that he must use his tongue for praise and for kindness. And when he makes that many bad choices in such a short amount of time it clues me in as to how tired he must be. I also reminded him that God has given mommies the job of providing consequences for bad choices so that we learn to love what is right. None of that seemed to ease his mind.

As I went back out to play with the little ones I heard the most gut wrenching cries and wails. It was as if someone was in there beating him repeatedly with the world's largest sad spoon.

And then I heard it. The words I knew were coming someday. It was as if the world stopped spinning and everything around me became fuzzy as I heard my oldest child scream out, "I DON"T LIKE MY MOMMY." over and over again.

I fought back the tears and cracked open the door. I asked him why he was saying such hurtful things. He told me it was because I was "being bad to him" and hurting his feelings by sending him to bed early. I didn't have a big lecture in me. I couldn't bring myself to spank or scold. I just told him to come down and hug me. As I held him I explained that I loved him and that I have to do what God wants me to do. And then I sent him back to bed.

I know this isn't the last time he will say something that will wound me. The Lord knows, I must have hurt my parents a million times over. The peace I found tonight was that I didn't give in. I won the battle. I did what I believe God wanted me to do....provide logical consequences and teach Biblical truth. But, my heart hurts at those words.

I guess it becomes even more real to me that the tongue holds in it the power to breath life or death. The tongue is a weapon. We MUST learn to use it to love, edify, encourage, and praise. We MUST learn to speak truth....no matter the cost.

Please pray for my sweet Kaleb. Pray that he will learn these lessons. Pray that the consequences for him in life might only be as great as they must be to draw him near to our Savior. And, on another note, if you have any ideas about how to teach about truth, potty talk, and name calling....I am all ears!